Are you a meek person?
If so, your life may be ruled by others, and it’s time to ditch meekness. Sounds easy, doesn’t it? But it’s not. Because meekness is a habitual response to the challenges of life. And it takes time and effort to change ingrained habits.
The root of meekness is low self-esteem. When our self-esteem is low, we respond to the challenges of life with doubts and fears. And this response is usually established early on. Our parents, caregivers, teachers, and peers leave a lasting legacy that isn’t always positive. For example, if you were bullied, shut up, abused, or controlled as a child, you may well suffer from meekness. I say ‘suffer’ because meekness doesn’t make you happy; it leads to an unfulfilled life.
The good new is: you can learn to walk tall!
My first memory is about ditching meekness. I was two years old and my parents were shifting from England to Germany. In order to keep me safe on board the ferry, my mother put me into a harness attached by a lead .
Years later, I asked my mother about this memory, and she told me what happened next. Apparently, I threw such a tantrum that people gathered around to watch the screaming toddler writhing on the floor. My poor mother was so embarrassed that she eventually took me out of the harness. I immediately slipped into the crowd. Gone!
As you can imagine, my parents were frantic. In the end, a large group of passengers started looking for me. Finally, they found me in the crew’s quarters, happily swinging on ladders.
In terms of meekness, I haven’t improved much since then. And that’s a good thing. Why? Because ditching meekness gives you freedom.
Meekness lets others rule your life.
In bygone days, meekness was a seen as an admirable womanly attribute. It meant that women didn’t complain about not having rights, being her husband’s chattel, not having any financial independence, or not being able to vote. These days, the cultural majority prefer to see meekness not so much in women, but among cultural minorities. Otherwise – oh my gosh – they might even demand equal rights!
St. Matthew said: “Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.” Well, maybe that’s true – but they’ll have to wait a long time until everyone else has had first pick!
We don’t have to wait. After all, we all have the ability to change. All we need to do is to practice new responses to familiar patterns. Read on to find out how how to change.
Seven tips on how to ditch meekness
- Find your voice
Meek people usually speak in a quiet voice. Ask yourself who you really are under the veneer of meekness. Let that inner person speak out. Great ways to find your voice is to take up voice training, join Toastmasters, or take singing lessons. - Bring out the warrior within
If your confidence is low, take up a martial art. Martial arts are designed to bring out the warrior within. - Speak up
Meekness makes us silent. Practice speaking up. Join a friendly group and say just one thing at every meeting. - Use affirmations
Affirmations are great tools to change the way we see ourselves. Put stickers on your mirror and in unexpected places, saying “I am getting stronger every day!” - Stand strong
Meekness is evident in the way we hold our body. It shows in rounded shoulders and collapsed posture. Train yourself to stand upright, and you will immediately feel the benefits. - Change your self-talk
Notice what you say to yourself. You’ll find that you put yourself down much more often than anyone else does! When you notice a negative thought, replace it with something positive. - Be with positive people
Confidence is infectious! If you hang out with people who are positive and can see your potential, it helps you to see yourself in a different light.
If you suffer from low self-esteem, it’s helpful to find the root cause. You may find that someone in your early life put you down again and again. Maybe your parents said to you, “You’re hopeless!” or your teachers said, “You’ll never get anywhere.” The strange thing is that we internalize these negative messages – even strengthen them – and then use them over and over for the rest of our life! Here’s a sure-fire strategy in order to release ourselves from past humiliations:
Say ‘no’ to your gremlin
Next time you hear your own judgmental thoughts telling you that you’re no good, imagine a little gremlin sitting on your left shoulder, whispering nasty things into your ear. What does it look like? What color is it? Maybe you can imagine it in some way that’s funny and makes you smile.
Whenever you notice negative self-talk, imagine the gremlin sitting there and say to it firmly, “Not now!” Then carefully wipe it off your shoulder. (To others it’ll look as if you’re brushing lint off your clothes.)
It’s really important to treat your gremlin with kindness as well as with firmness. After all, your negative voices are the remnants of remarks that hurt you in the past. The gremlin is like a little part of yourself that is still smarting from put-downs that happened years ago.
If you say ‘no’ to your gremlin over and over, you will begin to see that your negative self-talk has nothing at all to do with who you are. It has to do with how other people hurt you in the past. Then you will be able to walk taller each day.
Ditch meekness today and begin to walk tall!
7 Tips to ditch meekness and stop being a doormat
1. Find your voice
Meek people usually speak in a quiet voice. Ask yourself who you really are under the veneer of meekness. Let that inner person speak out. Great ways to find your voice are to take up voice training, join Toastmasters, or take singing lessons.
2. Bring out the warrior within
If your confidence is low, take up a martial art. Martial arts are designed to bring out the warrior within.
3. Speak up
Meekness makes us silent. Practice speaking up. Join a friendly group and say just one thing at every meeting.
4. Use affirmations
Affirmations are great tools to change the way we see ourselves. Put stickers on your mirror and in unexpected places, saying “I am getting stronger every day!”
5. Stand strong
Meekness is evident in the way we hold our body. It shows in rounded shoulders and collapsed posture. Train yourself to stand upright, and you will immediately feel the benefits.
6. Change your self-talk
Notice what you say to yourself. You’ll find that you put yourself down much more often than anyone else does! When you notice a negative thought, replace it with something positive.
7. Be with positive people
Confidence is infectious! If you hang out with people who are positive and can see your potential, it helps you to see yourself in a different light. If you suffer from low self-esteem, it’s helpful to find the root cause. You may find that someone in your early life put you down again and again. Maybe your parents said to you, “You’re hopeless!” or your teachers said, “You’ll never get anywhere.” The strange thing is that we internalize these negative messages – even strengthen them – and then use them over and over for the rest of our life!
Here’s a sure-fire strategy in order to release ourselves from past humiliations:
Say ‘no’ to your gremlin
Next time you hear your own judgmental thoughts telling you that you’re no good, imagine a little gremlin sitting on your left shoulder, whispering nasty things into your ear. What does it look like? What color is it? Maybe you can imagine it in some way that’s funny and makes you smile. Whenever you notice negative self-talk, imagine the gremlin sitting there and say to it firmly, “Not now!” Then carefully wipe it off your shoulder. (To others it’ll look as if you’re brushing lint off your clothes.) It’s really important to treat your gremlin with kindness as well as with firmness. After all, your negative voices are the remnants of remarks that hurt you in the past. The gremlin is like a little part of yourself that is still smarting from put-downs that happened years ago. If you say ‘no’ to your gremlin over and over, you will begin to see that your negative self-talk has nothing at all to do with who you are. It has to do with how other people hurt you in the past. Then you will be able to walk taller each day.
Ditch meekness today and begin to walk tall!
Adapted from an article by Mary Jaksch
Or are you a doormat !
Martha Beck – Life Coach on Oprah.com has a check list you can use to see if you act like a doormat at:
Would you like some help to be confident and let go of being a doormat or being meek and mild?
Is the meek person a human mouse infected with a sense of his or her own inferiority? Is meekness a glaring weakness? Last month, in a blog endorsed by many major newspapers and publishers, and listed by Technorati as one of the most popular in the blogosphere, author and psychotherapist Mary Jaksch gave subscribers some advice on “How to Ditch Meekness and Walk Tall.”
According to Jaksch,
The root of meekness is low self-esteem. When our self-esteem is low, we respond to the challenges of life with doubts and fears. . . . if you were bullied, shut up, abused, or controlled . . . you may well suffer from meekness. I say ‘suffer’ because meekness doesn’t make you happy; it leads to an unfulfilled life. . . . Meekness lets others rule your life . . . ditching meekness gives you freedom.
Jaksch, and her company of modern-day psychotherapy friends, would have us believe that meekness is spinelessness and spiritless—a doormat-type inclination that invites abuse. Christian humorist J. Upton Dickson played on this common conception by joking that he was planning to start an organization for the meek called DOORMATS, an acronym for “Dependent Organization of Really Meek And Timid Souls.” (Of course, being the meek man that he was, he gave up the plan when someone objected.)
In modern English, “meekness” carries the stigma of cowardly acquiescence. But the meekness of the Bible—the meekness manifested by God and given to the saints—is a strong, active, volitional, courageous attitude.
A Gentle & Meek Spirit
The word meek comes from the middle English meke and the Old Norse mjúkr meaning “soft.” The Greek adverb (prautes) denotes “a mild, gentle, friendly composure.” The adjective variously describes a soothing medicine, a gentle breeze, and a tamed colt. What do all these images have in common? They all describe great power under control. Meekness is submitting ourselves to the Lord, and curbing our natural desire to rebel, fight, have our own way, push ourselves forward, or push back.
Meekness is a disposition that is free of arrogance and pride. It is a calm, peaceful state of mind. The meek person puts up with the weakness of others, and is considerate towards them, enduring injury with great patience and without resentment, trusting in God’s goodness and control over the situation. Those who are meek control their attitude and response towards others because they are mindful of God.
They act like Christ, who did not retaliate when He was insulted, nor threaten revenge when He suffered. Instead, He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly. Meekness does not repay evil for evil. Nor does it retaliate when insulted. Meekness overcomes evil with good. Women, in particular, are to clothe themselves with “the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and meek spirit, which is so precious to God.” (See 1 Peter 2:23-3:9)
So is Mary Jaksch right? Is meek weak? Is the root of meekness low self-esteem? Is meekness giving in to fear? Does meekness lead to unhappiness and an unfulfilled life? Should we work to ditch this disposition? Not according to Scripture.
The Bible teaches that meekness contains great power. Meekness would be weakness if it meant yielding to sin. But because it stems from goodness and godliness, it is a great strength. Paradoxically, it is when we embrace meekness and bow down that we truly walk tall.
Did you discover God’s Truth today?
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About the Author
Mary Kassian
Mary Kassian is an award-winning author, an internationally-renowned speaker, and a frequent guest on Revive Our Hearts. She has written more than a dozen books and Bible studies, including Conversation Peace, Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild, and The Right Kind of Strong.
Mary and her husband, Brent, have three sons and six grandchildren and live in Alberta, Canada. The Kassians enjoy biking, hiking, snorkeling, music, board games, mountains, campfires, and their family’s black lab, General Beau.
The music of Dean and David Jones
Chronological index of brass works published by the Salvation Army (S.P.&S.):
For all enquiries for sheet music please call 01933 445445
1979 – Theodora (General Series 1716-1) DEJ
1984 – Century of service (Triumph Series 897) DEJ
1994 – The gospel train (Triumph Series 1011) DEJ
2002 – Faithful God (Triumph Series 1111) DHJ
2003 – I surrender all (Unity Series 284) DHJ
2004 – Beyond 2000 (Triumph Series 1130) DEJ
– Faithful God (Scripture Based songs Vol.5) DHJ
– I stand amazed (Scripture Based songs Vol.5) DHJ
– In Christ alone (Scripture Based songs Vol.5) DHJ
– I will run to you Scripture Based songs Vol.5) DEJ
– We are here to praise you (Scripture Based songs Vol.5) DEJ
– Polka Mitica (Unity Series 302) DHJ
– Walk Tall (Unity Series 306) DEJ
2005 – Glorifico Aeternum (Festival Series 595) DHJ
– Power Source (Triumph Series 1145) DHJ
– Pavane (Unity Series 309) DEJ
– Lift his name (Unity Series 315) DHJ
2006 – None like you (Triumph Series 1155) DHJ
– There is a hope so sure (Scripture Based songs Vol.7) DHJ
– The cradle song (Unity Series 325) DEJ
2007 – Supremacy (Judd St Collection) DHJ
– El es el Senor (General Series 2049) DHJ
– King of kings, Majesty (Scripture Based songs Vol.8) DHJ
– Saints Alive (Unity Series 334) DEJ
– We three kings (Unity Series 336) DEJ
– God rest, you merry gentlemen (Unity Series 337) DEJ
– Triumphant! (Unity Series 341) DHJ
2008 – SCB 125 (Triumph Series 1178) DHJ
2009 – Light and song (General Series 2073) DEJ
– Written in red (General Series 2083) DHJ
– Mighty God (Triumph Series 1198) DHJ
– Days of Elijah (Unity Seris 364) DHJ
– Church on fire! (Scripture Based songs Vol.10) DHJ
– From the highest of heights (Indescribable) S.B.songs Vol.10) DHJ
2010 – Salisbury City (Triumph Series 1207) DHJ
– Promenade (Unity Series 368) DEJ
– God forgave my sin (Freely) (Scripture Based songs Vol.11) DHJ
– He sought me (Scripture Based songs Vol.10) DEJ
– Shine on us (Scripture Based songs Vol.10) DHJ
– Somebody prayed for me (Scripture Based songs Vol.10) DHJ
2011 – The Cornerstone (Unity Series 382) DHJ
– Everyone needs compassion (Scripture Based songs Vol.12) DHJ
– Give thanks to the Lord (Forever) (Scripture Based songs Vol.12) DHJ
– Meekness and Majesty (Scripture Based songs Vol.12) DEJ
– There is none like you (Scripture Based songs Vol.12) DHJ
2012 – Renewed (Unity Series 391) DHJ
– I know he rescued my soul (Scripture Based songs Vol.13) DHJ
– I will worship (Scripture Based songs Vol.13) DHJ
– The way its gonna be (Scripture Based songs Vol.13) DHJ
– Your grace still amazes me (Scripture Based songs Vol.13) DEJ
2013 – Somebody Prayed (Unity Series 408) DHJ
– Lord, you are good (Scripture Based songs Vol.14) DHJ
– You are my strength when I am weak (Scripture Based songs Vol.14) DEJ
2014 – Bless the Lord, O my soul (10,000 Reasons) (Scripture Based songs Vol.15) DHJ
– Reign in me (Scripture Based songs Vol.15) DEJ
– Building Up! (Triumph Series 1252) DHJ
I shall never see,
a world as lovely as a tree.
Green it stands straight and tall
Generously giving love and shade to all
Who is there like you and to whom can I compare?
Your beauty is beyond my words, and all the angels stare
At your richness and gentleness, your meekness and your grace
If only I could see you and put my lips on your tender face
Come back, oh thirst, come back sweet desire!
There is none that can compare with thee
Thou glorious and loving sea
There is none that matches thee
Thou awesome and triumphant being
I praise and I adore you for who you are
But my thirst and my desire have gone far
Come back, oh thirst, come back sweet desire
Fill me with your presence, fill me with your fire
Hold nothing back, consume me up
Let your grace flow and overflow my cup
There is none that can compare with thee
For you are God and always will be
Take me into your presence Lord and fill my heart with thee
That I accomplished something on my own, when it was only play
Keep me safe in your loving arms as the world around me fades away
Keep me close with your loving gaze as you chase the darkness into day
Give me your right hand and rest it upon my cheek
Give me thy left and stay with me when I am weak
And always, too, lest I grow proud thinking in my own way
That I accomplished something on my own, when it was only play
You are the real strength behind every move I make
The wind in my lungs, the blood and bones when I shake
Take care of me, my love, my one and only true Dad
Show me thy grace every time I am feeling sad
Sing praises over me and fill me with your peace
Let me give praise to you, a praise that will never cease
Every time I see you, I will sing and shout for joy
Every time I hear you, I will worship as a man and as a boy
Don’t Be a Slouch
It adds to the stress on your spine. That puts a strain on the bones, muscles, and joints you need to hold your backbone in place. But lousy posture isn’t just bad for your back. A constant slump smashes your inside organs together, and makes it harder for your lungs and intestines to work. Over time, that’ll make it hard to digest food or get enough air when you breathe.
Straighten Up
A great way to prevent posture problems? Stand up tall. You’ll feel better and look better — slimmer, even. Pretend you’re standing against a wall to measure your height. Hold your head straight and tuck in your chin. Your ears should be over the middle of your shoulders. Stand with your shoulders back, knees straight, and belly tucked in. Don’t let your booty or hips stick out. Straighten up so you feel like your head stretches toward the sky.
Don’t Slump at Your Desk
It’s comfy to slouch — maybe even lean back and swivel a bit. But it’s a posture no-no. Try this instead: Sit all the way back in your chair. Place a small, rolled-up towel or lumbar cushion behind your mid-back to protect your spine’s natural curve. Bend your knees at a right angle and keep them the same height, or a bit higher, than your hips. Place your feet flat on the floor.
Beware of ‘Text Neck’
On your smartphone all day long? Take a minute to stretch your neck. When you tilt your head down to check messages it really strains your spine. Over the course of a day — or year — that can add up. For a better view, lift the phone up and move your eyes, not your head.
Don’t Be a Low-Rider
Sure, it’s cool and comfy to recline during a long drive. But it isn’t great for your posture. Instead, pull your seat close to the steering wheel. Try not to lock your legs. Bend your knees slightly. They should be at hip level or a tad above. Don’t forget to put a pillow or rolled-up towel behind you for support.
Save Heels for a Big Night Out
They might be a fashion yes, but they’re likely a posture no. Pumps and stilettos thrust the base of your spine forward, which over-arches your back. That can change the way your backbone lines up and put pressure on nerves, which causes back pain. Sky-high shoes also put more weight on your knees. Choose a lower, chunky heel for daily wear.
Hit the Hay the Right Way
Naptime is no excuse to slack. Skip the soft, saggy mattress. Choose a firm one that helps hold your spine’s natural shape. Side sleeper? Bend your knees slightly but don’t hug them. Place a pillow under your head so it’s level with your spine. Back sleepers should ditch the thick pillow and opt for a small one under the neck.
Exercise and Tone Your Abs
Too many pounds around your belly puts added stress on your back. You need strong muscles to support your spine. A well-designed workout plan will keep your body and spine in tip-top shape. And that’s important. Try non-impact exercises like tai chi.
Check for Problems
You probably know if you slouch or not. If you aren’t sure, here’s a quick way to tell. Place the back of your head against a wall. Move your feet 6 inches out from the baseboard. Your tush should touch the wall. Your lower back and your neck should be about 2 inches from it. If not, talk to your doctor about ways to improve your posture.
Up Next
Next Slideshow Title
IMAGES PROVIDED BY:
Kansas Chiropractic Foundation: “Good Posture . just how important is it?”
American Physical Therapy Association: “The Secret of Good Posture.”
Mayfield Brain & Spine: “Posture for a Healthy Back.”
Cleveland Clinic: “Posture for a Healthy Back.”
Ken Hansraj, MD, chief of spine surgery, New York Spine Surgery & Rehabilitation Medicine
American Osteopathic Association: “The Real Harm in High Heels.”
ACA Rehab Council: “Osteoporosis and Spinal Exercise.”
University of Maryland Medical Center: Tai Chi
Spine Health Institute: “How High Heels Affect Your Body.”
Reviewed by Tyler Wheeler, MD on June 24, 2020
This tool does not provide medical advice. See additional information.
THIS TOOL DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE. It is intended for general informational purposes only and does not address individual circumstances. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment and should not be relied on to make decisions about your health. Never ignore professional medical advice in seeking treatment because of something you have read on the WebMD Site. If you think you may have a medical emergency, immediately call your doctor or dial 911.
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Standing more than 16 feet tall and weighing close to 2,000 pounds, Miami’s Pongo the giraffe can now walk again thanks to a rare procedure.
![How to ditch meekness and walk tall]( "How to ditch meekness and walk tall")
Paul Scicchitano , Patch Staff![How to ditch meekness and walk tall]( "How to ditch meekness and walk tall")
Posted Wed, Sep 23, 2020 at 10:09 a m ET | Updated Wed, Sep 23, 2020 at 11:49 a m ET
MIAMI, FL — Standing more than 16 feet tall and weighing close to 2,000 pounds, Pongo the giraffe can now walk tall again thanks to a risky procedure at ZooMiami that saved his life.
“He’s walking like he’s never had a fracture at all,” Ron Magill of ZooMiami told Patch on Tuesday. “It’s fantastic.”
A team of two dozen veterinarians, technicians, zookeepers and farriers reshaped Pongo’s fractured foot and fitted him for corrective shoes Saturday, all while the gentle giant was kept under anesthesia.
“Basically, what we did was we had a special farrier — a guy who basically is a horse shoer but for exotic animals — restructure his foot, reshape his foot, and then build a special rubber shoe, kind of like giraffe orthotics, that would then adhere to his foot, and basically change his gait and isolate and stabilize the fracture, because you can’t put a cast on a giraffe.”
The procedure was dangerous for Pongo and unwieldy for the team of experts who took X-rays, trimmed Pongo’s hooves, shaped and attached the custom rubber shoes, performed laser therapy on Pongo and collected blood and tissue samples.
Magill said adult giraffes are considered to be one of the most challenging animals to anesthetize.
“It’s the first time we have ever done it, and it is very rarely done,” said Magill, the public face of the largest zoological garden in Florida and one of the largest in the country. “It is not uncommon that the giraffe never survives once you anesthetize it. That’s why it’s a last-ditch effort.”
Magill said Pongo’s quality of life had been declining since he suffered the foot fracture, making it painful for him to go about his daily routine.
Miami, FL | News | 2d
Gov. Ron DeSantis Activates FL National Guard Ahead Of Protests
The Florida National Guard has been called to active duty in Tallahassee as the capitol prepares for possible armed protests on Sunday.
“It’s like when a horse breaks a bone in a leg, they usually end up euthanizing the horse,” Magill explained. “Now put that in perspective with a giraffe. It’s a much larger animal, much larger legs. So when you have a foot fracture like that, it’s potentially catastrophic.”
Miami, FL | News | 2d
Gov. Ron DeSantis Activates FL National Guard Ahead Of Protests
The Florida National Guard has been called to active duty in Tallahassee as the capitol prepares for possible armed protests on Sunday.
Pongo’s head had to be kept elevated on a special board while he was under anesthesia. Animal science staff constantly massaged his neck and body to help the animal’s blood flowing.
Magill said everyone on the team collectively held their breath as Pongo was given the drugs to wake him up.
While he was able to hold his head up relatively quickly, it took him nearly 40 minutes to stand again, a sign that the procedure was successful.
Pongo, an 11-year-old reticulated giraffe, may live as long as 18 to 22 years now that he has undergone the procedure in what is essentially midlife.
“Those shoes will stay on forever,” predicted Magill, who painstakingly documented Pongo’s medical procedure with photos and video.
“It’s a great feel-good story of something that had a very high potential of going very wrong and fortunately everything went right,” Magill added. “It was a textbook procedure.”
Watch Pongo’s procedure below courtesy of ZooMiami:
I Walk Walking With Enermy Sow Boyfriend While Having Silver Cupn It Falls He Pick | Dream Meaning
Aisle (walking Down)
2. Commitment, dedication.
3. If walking among a crowd, one feels admired. . New American Dream Dictionary
Backwards (walking)
Bars Of Silver
If a person sees himself as having received a piece of silver with no design on it, it means he will marry a beautiful woman. Islamic Dream Interpretation
Boardwalk
2. A symbol for life’s journey, chosen path.
3. Prosperity, financial security. . New American Dream Dictionary
Boardwalk
If you didn’t see the ocean but just walked quietly along the boardwalk, this symbolizes clearness of mind and progress towards your goals. My Dream Interpretation
Boy / Boyfriend
If you dream that you’re in love with a boy who you don’t like in real life, your dream could be telling you that you are overlooking good qualities in that person that makes him worth crushing on. Or, it could mean that he has some personality trait (like being outgoing or sporty) that you wish you had yourself. Dreams about your boyfriend often reflect real-life issues and concerns you have with him.
If you dream that you have a boyfriend, but in real life you don’t, it symbolizes some sort of partnership or commitment. Maybe you want a boyfriend in real life, a common meaning, or maybe the boyfriend in your dream stands for a friend that you have commitment issues with.
If your dream boyfriend is loving, this is your mind’s way of telling you that you are a special person worth loving. You’re giving yourself some much needed affection and praise. Dreaming about an ex-boyfriend can suggest unfinished or confusing issues related to that old relationship. It doesn’t necessarily mean you still care for him, although it can. Often, it means that your current love relationship is awakening similar feelings that you had with your ex, either positive or negative.
If you dream of dating a friend’s boyfriend, your dream is actually about your friend and not the guy. Your friend has certain qualities that you wish you had yourself. Also, you may feel like you’re not as close to this friend as you want to be these days.
If you dream that one of your friends is dating your boyfriend, you may not be getting as much as you want out of your love relationship. This dream can also indicate that you are envious of a quality that your friend has – you wish you were more like her in some way.
If you dreamed about your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend, you may be comparing yourself to the ex.
The dream is warning you not to make the same relationship mistakes that ended their relationship.
If you dream of having a different boyfriend than you actually do, think of how this “other” boyfriend acted in the dream. It may suggest something you want from your boyfriend – a way you wish he would act, or some way in which you’d like him to change.
If you are a girl and you dreamed of being a boy, look up the meaning under “Gender” Also see “Breaking Up”, “Cheating in a Relationship”, “Crush” and “Stealing a Boyfriend”. My Dream Interpretation
Boyfriend
2. Masculine side of self. . New American Dream Dictionary
By Ditch the Label
“Next time” you think, “Next time, I’ll stand up for myself…”.
You’ve probably replayed over a thousand times in your head how you’re going to react ‘next time’ they give you S***… the thing is, it doesn’t always work like that. In the moment, it can be so hard to find the words to express yourself, especially if you’re hurt or emotional.
One of the biggest pieces of advice people love to give in the face of being bullied is ‘Just stand up for yourself’… as if it’s that easy, right? 🙄
Ditch the Label is here to provide some practical anti-bullying advice with some things you can try when you’re in the moment and it’s all getting a bit much:
It’s ok if you can’t stand up for yourself
For a few of us, it might work and the person doing the bullying might respond and stop altogether. However, not everyone is able to stand up for themselves in that way.
If that person is you, give yourself a massive break and try a different approach that you feel you can do instead of giving yourself a hard time for what you can’t do. Here at Ditch the Label, we never condone using violence or physical force to sort things out and will always opt for a more peaceful approach to end bullying, such as talking things through.
Places you can go
Do you have places at school and home that you feel safe in and that you can go when you need some time away from it all? Have a think about where they might be, especially at school. If you are having a particularly tough day it helps to have places to go to get away from it. Try talking to your favourite teacher and asking them if you can go to their classroom, or seek out some downtime in the library. It is important that you have a safe place to go. When it all gets too much, simply turn your back, walk away and go to your place to chill.
Who have you told?
Telling someone is sometimes the hardest thing to do. Check out this article for more tips on who you can tell. If you still haven’t told anyone and it’s getting harder and harder on a daily basis, the time is now to tell someone you trust who cares about you. keeping it all to yourself doesn’t work and only adds to your stress and the intensity of the situation.
It is 100% OK to cry
Yep, that’s right, you are allowed to cry. Crying is a very healthy and natural reaction to being treated badly or feeling pain. What’s not so healthy is shaming yourself for not being stronger. Newsflash: crying is not a sign of weakness, nor does it make you pathetic.
There are many differing opinions around whether you should or shouldn’t let the person or people bullying you see you cry. At the end of the day, there really is no right or wrong when it comes to how you process your feelings as it happens to you. Whatever situation you find yourself in, it is always made worse when we judge ourselves for not handling it better.
Strengthen other friendships
Try and focus on other friendships where you do feel safe. Naturally, when you are being treated badly it can become a very big focus in your life and it’s easy to overlook the friendships that matter to us. Ask them for advice, what would they do if they were in your shoes? Be real with them about what you are going through and talk to them about backing you up when or if they see it happening.
Deflection
Making a joke or using a comeback line can work at deflecting nasty comments directed at you. Alternatively, you could try dismissing them and not react at all. People bullying you are looking for a reaction so humour and silence can work to readdress the situation. By ignoring them, you completely disarm them, when they realise they’re not getting a reaction, they’ll likely give up – give it a try, if it doesn’t work, no biggie. There are more options at your disposal…
Sticks n’ stones
If the bullying is consistently verbal, what happens after a surprisingly short space of time is that we start to believe it. Our minds start to think that because we are hearing the same message repeatedly, it must be true. This is why verbal bullying is very damaging psychologically and can cause deep emotional pain that no one else can see – only you can feel. It’s super important that you take action when anything verbal is directed at you.
The action is relatively simple: you need to work at counteracting those negative messages by repeatedly telling yourself the opposite of what you hear. This will help you in the long run, it might feel weird or silly or maybe you are thinking it’s not that bad but life is too short and your peace of mind too important. Whatever abuse is thrown at you, it is not true now and never will be.
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Fake it to make it
Being bullied leaves pretty much everyone feeling victimised in one way or another. What underlies all advice around overcoming bullying is finding ways to empower yourself to carry on in the face of being treated badly by other people. Walk tall, look up and make eye contact. It’s okay to feel scared and anxious but when you can, try to not let that show in your body language.
Record it
Are you keeping a diary of what’s happening? If not, you need to start now. Keep a record of all events – time and place and what is said or done. This will help when it comes to talking to your parents and any teachers. Most likely this will feel like the last thing you want to do but it is a really important thing to do. Keeping it all logged will also help you to realise that yes, it is bullying and no, you’re not being ‘too sensitive’.
CyberBullying
If the bullying you are experiencing is cyberbullying read this article.
Unsure?
It’s hard to tell if what you’re experiencing is bullying especially if it’s coming from a mate or group of mates. Have a read of this article to help you figure out the line between banter and bullying. The best way to determine whether or not it is bullying is to analyse how it makes you feel. If the answer is ‘like S***’ or thereabouts – chances are it is bullying. To make doubly sure – try out this quiz.
For more practical advice check out Ditch the Label’s Top Ten Tips for Overcoming Bullying.
Most important is to talk it out – join the community to chat with digital mentors and like-minded people who can help.
don’t touch
Personal Information
Name:
Seysha’al Eima Taudrith
Meaning and reason:
Seysha’al (say/sha/all, Rei’nal) – literally glass, specifically the kind used by artists and usually coloured
Eima (ae/mah, Scorpioni) – from eimadiam, meaning blessing, also the common name of a transparent-winged butterfly
Taudrith (tawd/rith, Scorpioni) – from itaudrith, meaning feathered
Nicknames:
Seysha, Seysh, Sey
Meaning and reason:
All shortenings of her name
Age:
Date of Birth:
Gender:
Sexuality:
Species:
Race/Ethnicity/Nationality:
Religion:
Height:
Taller than average
Weight:
Physical Information
Appearance:
Appears to be around twenty. Tall, curvy, and beautiful. Her long black hair curls if left down but is usually tied up in a braid or bun. Her skin is a deep cocoa brown, and her eyes are striking gold. She has long eyelashes and elegant features. Her limbs are long and so are her fingers.
Clothing style:
Extremely fashionable, of course. In keeping with Rei’nal fashions, all her clothing is fitted, never loose, with lots of sharp lines and hard edges. Generally wears bright colours with shimmery accents; her house colours are coral and bronze.
Posture and walk:
Tall and proud, walks fast
Voice:
Beautiful, smoothly accented alto
Physical illnesses or disabilities:
Psychological Information
Personality:
Strong and confident. A natural leader and keeps a level head in a crisis. Brave, not one to back down from a challenge. A bit of a neat freak and dislikes mess or disorder, especially on her person. Tries very hard to always look elegant, put-together, and proud. She doesn’t think of herself as insecure, exactly, but she definitely cares- maybe too much- about her reputation and what others think of her. Constantly and indiscriminately flirtatious.
Greatest strength:
Her dauntlessness/take-charge attitude
Fatal flaw:
Her focus on what others think of her
Psychological illnesses or disabilities:
Backstory Information
Universe information:
In the realm of Missriv, witches are half-demon, half-human. They must bond with familiars in order to fully utilise their magic. So
Location:
– Embersent, Aidro, Missriv
Social status:
Consort’s daughter/queen’s stepdaughter, witch
Bio:
Was born and spent a few of her early years in the Scorpioni desert; moved to Rei’nal with her father when she was three. She was five when her father married the Rei’nal queen and she officially became the step-princess. Life in Rei’nal was lovely; Seysha had the best of education and, well, everything else she could possibly want. Although she wasn’t heir to the throne due to her lack of royal blood, she was still treated like a princess. And all went well until the queen fell ill. Within a year, she was dead.
Seysha’s father moved back to the desert, but Seysha- now eighteen- remained in Rei’nal, too attached to the person she’d become and the friends she’d made. But as the years went past, it became clearer and clearer that she wasn’t aging the way she should. Confused and worried, Seysha went to the mountains to consult with a rumoured witch. It was a lucky thing she did; after all, Seysha herself was a witch, and Arphe, the mountain witch, was able to help her learn to control her powers.
While she was apprenticed to Arphe, in fact, she went on a quest to find a familiar and met Whetū. The two became extremely close and went on to take on the world, beginning by attending a prestigious inter-realm college.
Relationships:
– Lorrem Taudrith Sen’les
– Coriele Riavern, Temi Audere, Silphin’em Orsel’el
Miscellaneous Information
Habits:
– Brushes off her hands frequently, even when there’s nothing on them
– Pets Whetū, cuddles Whetū, taps her fingers against Whetū’s toes when she’s trying to think
– Runs her thumb over Alete’s pendant, especially when she’s worried
– Keeps her hands to herself and doesn’t move them much, generally doesn’t move a whole lot
– Winks all the time at everyone
Hobbies:
– Practising magic/practising with her glass hands
– Training with staff and sword
– Socialising/hanging out with friends
– Exploring wild places with Whetū
Likes:
– Gold, orange, yellow
– Whetū, cuddling Whetū, Alete
– Being the centre of attention/being in charge
– Pastries, especially savoury ones
Dislikes:
– Being dirty or anything being stuck to the skin of her hands and feet
– Not being taken seriously
– Being completely alone (without Whetū or Alete)
– Most shades of blue
Fears:
– something happening to Whetū
– her blood mother, whoever she is- even the idea of finding out
