How to Teach Restaurant Dining Manners to Kids

Several readers have ideas about making dining out a better experience for everyone. Here are some of their suggestions.

When you take your children out, set up guidelines that are appropriate within your family, said Casey Bulkley, father of three and managing partner of Biaggi’s at The Gateway.

“Verbalize those expectations with children of all ages: This is OK, this isn’t OK; behave like this; remember to say please and thank you,” Bulkley said. “Those are life skills for any situation, not just eating out.”

Don’t take children out to eat when they are tired or sick, advises mother of seven, grandmother of 30 and great-grandmother of seven LeAnn Rushton, who adds, “You are inviting trouble if you do.”

Mother of two toddlers Christie Dickson advises heading off trouble before it starts, when possible. “We try to bring little snacks for them to eat before food arrives. We have had to take them out for a walk if service is slow, and we do our best to keep them well-behaved.”

Amanda Charlesworth, who has two sons, looks at eating out as a training ground for her children and uses “coaching and redirection” to ensure a nice meal for her family and everyone else. “Parents should be aware of what their children are doing and either redirect them to calm them down, or remove the children until they can (calm them down).”

Children do better in smaller groups, said Rushton, who often takes her grandchildren and great-grandchildren to dinner in groups of three or four. “Eating out with our children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren is a good time for together time just to visit and enjoy one another.”

Contrary to what many parents believe, Rushton said that, if she wants the children with her to behave, she avoids raucous eateries such as McDonald’s or Joe’s Crab Shack. “If you take them to a noisy place, you can just about expect your kids to be more hyper.”

Reader Tanya Spackman, who calls herself “single and not a big fan of kids,” said diners should pause a moment before judging groups with kids. “Hating the kids before you even find out how they behave is ridiculous.”

When kids are behaving badly, Ogden resident Shelly Strahan thinks a little public reprimand might help. “I believe the solution is for more restaurants to embarrass parents who do allow their children to act like animals by asking them to leave. I think this would solve the problem.”

Reader Weston Smith said he would like to sit in a “children” section of a restaurant, “along the lines of the old smoking or nonsmoking sections. . I would much rather be segregated to a children-accepted area than to feel like I have shattered the ‘cone of silence’ for those who are not dining with young ones and feeling their wrath of discontent because I chose to take my whole family out to dinner.”

For reader Marge Aten, the solution is even simpler: “Next time you are out with your family, think about the others around you. They are trying to enjoy their dinner, also. The most important thing you can do for your children is teach them manners and how to behave in public — something not done much these days.”

Finally, Bulkley would like to see everyone — diners with kids, diners without kids, diners who sometimes bring kids but don’t have theirs along that night — “be a little more patient with each other. People should give each other a break and allow other people a little more space, and especially allow children a little room to grow and develop, and maybe even a little more love for those kids.

“It’s for the greater good. Anytime you make even a little sacrifice or you’re a little bit kinder, that helps everyone.”

All kids can learn to behave well at the table. Learn about the basic table manners for kids and how to teach them so your child is a pleasant addition to the table.

Recently, we were at a restaurant having a family meal together and the waitress said, “May I take your order?”

Each one of my children started their meal request with, “May I please have…”

I don’t tell you this to brag, but I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t feel a swell of pride when I heard them.

My husband and I are sticklers for manners.

We’ve worked hard to help our children learn how to behave and be polite at the table.

Teaching Table Etiquette for Kids

We have worked on dining etiquette for years.

At times, it seemed like our kids needed constant reminders to say the simplest “please,” “thank you,” or “no, thank you.”

And, then, one day, it started happening on its own, without our prompting or reminding.

Don’t you just love it when a child or teen says please, or thank you?

Especially without prompting?

Your child isn’t born with manners. He develops good manners and table etiquette over time and with the guidance and leadership you provide.

Like all manners for kids, your child also learns from the example you set with your own manners.

How Do Kids Learn Their Manners?

According to a Culture and Youth Studies survey, 97% of students learn their manners from home. Bad manners were learned from: media, books, and movies (69.3%), school classes (65%), and friends (61.5%).

In a Forbes magazine article, proper etiquette, they say, is a matter of character. An essential if you want your child to succeed in business. And, a disadvantage to those young adults who haven’t mastered them yet.

Yes, an interview luncheon with bad manners can tank your child’s potential for a job position.

Now I know for many of you that is way off in the future, but the preparation for navigating key social situations with good manners begins now.

A List of Manners at the Table All Kids Can Learn

According to Emily Post, there are a few good table manners all kids should know and demonstrate.

1. Come to the table with clean hands and face.
2. Put your napkin on your lap.
3. Start eating when everyone else does—or when given the okay to start.
4. Stay seated and sit up straight.
5. Keep elbows (and other body parts!) off the table while eating.
6. Chew with your mouth closed and don’t talk until you’ve swallowed.
7. Don’t make bad comments about the food.
8. Say “Please pass the…” instead of reaching.
9. Chat with everyone at the table.
10. Don’t make rude noises like burping or slurping.
11. Ask to be excused when finished.
12. Thank your host or whoever prepared the meal.
13. Offer to help clear the table.

Other Good Manners to Think About

I’d like to add a few more manners to the list:

1. Eat at the table with the television off.
2. Avoid answering the phone during a meal. I recommend not allowing any cell phones at the table.
3. Ask your children to help set the table. Kids can learn where utensils, bread plates and glasses should be placed while learning to value the time and effort it takes to prepare for a meal. Check out this simple way to teach your child where the bread plate and glass should be positioned around the plate. Make sure the bread is left of the plate and drinks are to the right.
4. Consider starting the meal by saying a blessing or prayer. This reinforces showing appreciation and can set the tone for the meal.
5. Expect your children to say “please”, “please pass” and “thank you.”
6. Practice how to refuse foods politely. Tell your kids it is ok to refuse certain items, but there is no need to cause a scene or be insulting. A simple, “I’m fine, thank you,” or “I’d rather not, thanks” work well.

Mealtimes should be pleasant, supportive, and engaging. Keeping a positive attitude and reasonable expectations around table manners, conversation, and interactions among your family members will go a long way toward creating a mealtime environment in which your child wants to be a part.

The Benefits of Knowing Table Manners for Kids

Observing good manners prepares your child to be a patient, confident, capable adult who is able to function in a variety of social situations. Being polite is never offensive and nearly everyone appreciates being treated with respect.

My mother always said one purpose of manners is to keep those around you from feeling uncomfortable. I think this is so true!

How your child behaves at the table is a reflection of his age, maturity, and parenting. While age and maturity come with time and practice, teaching table manners is something you can do every time you sit together for meals.

Manners need not be saved for special occasions at fancy restaurants, formal dinners, or holiday meals. If they are practiced often they are perfected.

What better place to rehearse them than in your own home? And if you’re already on your way, you can always find ways to improve upon good manners.

When you sit together regularly for meals, it’s so much easier to teach your child table manners. Alternatively, when your child doesn’t have an opportunity to observe adults eat, converse and navigate the meal, he fails to see table manners and etiquette in action.

My advice to all families: Have family meals at home as often as possible. The more your child is exposed to eating with others at the dinner table, the more opportunity to learn and polish good manners.

Do what you can: Try to hit 3-5 family meals each week, but if that’s not possible, one family meal per week is better than none!

Remember, your child is watching you and they model your behavior. If you place importance on practicing good table manners, chances are your child will too.

How do you teach table manners?

Grab the Table Manners for Kids Printable!

Post this on your refrigerator or somewhere central in the kitchen and help your kiddos start practicing their table etiquette.

Hero Images/Getty Images

If you’re a parent, grandparent, or teacher, you know the old saying that children are like sponges is true; they tend to soak up everything and every influence around them. Manners need to be taught, shown, and reinforced by parents and other adults who have the authority of them.

Charm Schools and Finishing Schools

Years ago, “finishing schools” were considered essential for all girls and many boys. Although some of them still exist, many parents don’t feel the need to send their children. They’re right, but only if they’re willing to take the time to teach the lessons on social behavior.

If you aren’t sure about what is or isn’t proper, consider looking into charm schools in your area. You might even want to ask if you can go through the program with your child. Not only will you learn something, but it will also be a fun family experience. If they won’t allow parents, you might ask if they offer a similar program for adults so you can reinforce what your children are taught.

Another option if you can’t find an in-person charm school is an online etiquette class. You and your children can sign up and participate in the privacy of your home.

While teaching your children manners, consider what is age appropriate, their ability to follow them, and who they’ll be around. Older family members will expect something completely different from what their peers will respond to. They also need to learn that some of their friends might have bad manners, and it is not okay to follow them.

Manners Tips

Here are some tips to help teach manners to your children:

• Model manners. If you want your child to have good manners, you must make sure you do as well. This is definitely not an area in which you can get them to do as you say and not as you do. The first step to having a mannerly child is being a mannerly parent.
• Practice at home. It is unrealistic for your child to just pick up the habit of good manners by telepathy. He or she needs to know what the rules are. Tell your child, put them in writing, and try including them in fun, playtime etiquette activities.
• Take them out in public. Once you’ve taught and reinforced the manners rules at home, take your children out to casual restaurants, the library, the shopping mall, and other places where they can practice what they’ve learned.
• Give him or her the words. There are 5 polite words and phrases that should be among the first in every child’s primary vocabulary. These should be used while speaking to babies, toddlers, and children. “Please,” “thank you,” “May I, “Excuse me,” and “No thank you,” should be required.
• Give your youngster positive reinforcement. Children love praise, especially when it comes from a parent or someone they respect. Very often parents respond only to their children’s undesirable behavior, ignoring their victories and positive actions. This choice may actually have the reverse result. Children want attention any way they can get it, even if that means doing bad things. Encourage them when they are polite.
• Be patient. It is true that most children are self-centered by nature. Every parent recognizes this very early in the parenting charge, and it’s up to you to turn this around. Teach them the importance of respecting other people’s feelings and needs. As they learn to listen more, speak less, have empathy for others, and humble themselves, their Golden Rule behavior will begin to shine forth.
• Learn to coach. Many people are finding that they need someone to not only hold them accountable but to listen to their dreams, desires, and goals. Help your child to establish social goals that will better equip him or her for daily interpersonal communication and interaction. It is no secret that people don’t really like to be around others who are rude and obnoxious. No parent wants this for their child. Make a point to sit down and talk with them and listen to areas of struggle they may have when interacting with other people.
• Teach table manners. Proper etiquette obviously includes table manners, so start teaching your children the basics from a very early age. Use age-appropriate lessons and reward them for following the rules.
• Correct him or her on the spot. Very young children often times don’t realize what they are doing. For example, if you are speaking with a friend, your child might think it’s okay to interrupt you. Beg your friend’s pardon and let your child know that his or her interruption is inappropriate. Do this for any infraction your child commits. Make sure you use sensitivity in these types of situations. If you have an overly sensitive child, you might want to excuse yourself and speak with him or her privately.
• Speak well. Speech habits are so important. Often parents may sabotage their children’s speech patterns by using language they don’t want their children to mimic. Again, this is an area in which you need to model the correct behavior. Unless you want your child to speak in a sloppy, slang-ridden way, be well-spoken yourself.
• Lose the prejudices. Your children are going to model your biases. If you hold strong opinions about a particular group or person, you should not make this a public point. Teach your children to judge a person by their character and not their race, gender, religion, or nationality.

Happy Home and Social Life

Teaching your children manners is good for both their home and social life. They’ll attract friends who enjoy being around positive, well-mannered people. There will be more joy in the home and less strife, which gives everyone in the family a more solid relationship that will carry through to adulthood.

Teaching Restaurant Manners

If your family is like most, eating meals out isn’t reserved for special occasions anymore. A quick look at a number of surveys shows general agreement that most Americans eat a meal out between 4 and 5 times per week.

With restaurant dining so much a part of normal routines, many families ask about when and how to teach their children some basic manners appropriate for the restaurant. Even preschoolers are ready to learn about simple dining out etiquette. We have a few suggestions to share before you head out.

• Sit at the table for the meals you do eat at home. The busy lifestyles we lead have greatly reduced the number of times we sit down at our tables as a family. When children aren’t used to sitting at a table for a meal, expecting them to know what to do at a restaurant is a stretch.
• Practice manners at the family table. Model what you want to see and explain to children what you are doing. Set standards for basic table manners at home and praise children for using their manners.
• Play restaurant at home. Children love pretend play. Adding a candle to the table and a fun tablecloth can transform your kitchen table to Chez Anyplace. Explain how basic manners are taken up a notch when dining out.
• Be reasonable about where you choose to dine with your children. Look for family friendly places and remember that booths may offer a little more “wiggle room” than a straight backed chair. Save the fancy restaurants for date night or for when the kids have mastered their skills.
• Don’t wait until your children are “starving.” If you take a very hungry child to a restaurant and there’s a wait for the food or table, things won’t end well. It may sound backwards, but give your child a small healthy snack ahead of time. Most children don’t eat a lot at the restaurant itself and will likely take leftovers home anyway. The goal is to have a positive dining experience.
• On that same note, go early. A tired child…….. again, it won’t end well.
• Put away your phone. Be in the present. Talk to your child about what they are seeing and keep them involved with coloring the placemat, thinking up words that rhyme with what they’re going to eat, etc. Children who feel invisible get restless and bored.
• Encourage children to try new foods but don’t demand it. It’s easier for a child to remember their best manners when they are eating something they know they like.
• Give children opportunities to practice – take your children to different kinds of restaurants. Experiencing a variety of environments will keep things interesting for everyone.

A restaurant is a perfect place to create memories with your family. Dining out doesn’t have to be a stressful experience. Helping children learn basic table manners will go a long way in making these times to treasure for everyone.

Want your child to be disciplined enough to know what table etiquettes to keep in mind while, before and after eating? This article is all about how to train your child in every aspect of life in the most interesting and time consuming way. Manners describe the way and environment a child is brought up into, especially when it comes to “Table Manners for Kids”. If this is what you’re looking for, then Congratulations! You are at the right platform. Every meal should be a practice for learning table etiquettes for your little one.

Everyone likes a pleasant companion to dine with. You can imagine yourself on a table with a person chewing loudly or making sounds, you won’t ever like being accompanied by such a person. Such table manners and etiquette need to be taught and adapted from an early age.

Etiquettes for Kids:

Proper table manners can be attained by vision but since they can’t be inherited like talking, walking or binding to rules! Learning manners will help your child in all aspects of life, also in every juncture later onwards.

Even if you pay a visit to any nearby restaurant, you would see kids dashing over the place making noises, showing ill-suited behavior and that definitely is not appreciated by most of the visitors. Not only that but coaching them about how to cope with patience, to make them it follow it especially if one goes out of control when hungry, upset and overjoyed. It is when and where the prosecution of Table Manners for children emerges.

A few things you should keep in mind while teaching table etiquette for kids or if you have the phrase ‘Proper Table Manners’ in your mind.

This app is designed to help 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th-grade school students understand and solve basic math word problems. It builds an understanding of math problems in a fun game-like environment. This app will help to boost your children analytical thinking and problem-solving skills.

• Table Etiquettes:

Starting off with the basics, there are etiquettes for every action. Ask your child not to DRAG the chair and draw it slightly instead, sit with his back straight. When seated, it is a must to place a napkin on the lap while eating and fold it back in place once he’s finished. It is a step by step approach which is followed one after another.

Handling the utensils properly which is the fork in the left hand and knife in the right. Keeping in view when to start and when to not (with the food). After these basic follow-ups, comes the next phase. Table etiquettes are to be taught step by step for example if your child is under 3 years he’d only get things like sit when everyone’s sitting and having a meal and all the basic do’s and don’ts like don’t make noises or rush around the dining area. You can add on the rules when you know he has the ability to understand it step by step. Generally, 6-7 is the age when children start developing an understanding of actions and how it affects other people. They’d know more about the importance of every action.

• Basic Table Manners for kids:

Below are some of the basics table manners for children to be taught. Remember, not to rush and follow a step by step approach. These are fundamental for every meal. Table manners for kids illustrates about how polished a child is.

1. You should always come to the table with clean hands and feet. It’s not only hygienic but also considered as a bad manner if not done so. Health is the greatest possession one gets hold of and it is his duty to take care of it

2. Always ask others to let you do if there’s any work and try to do it. Especially if you’re invited to their house. Even if they won’t let you do, ask for it.

3. Always let others take first and wait for your turn. You shouldn’t be hurrying and grabbing stuff before others even if it’s your own place.

4. Never stuff your mouth with food. Eat slowly and chew properly and talk once you’re done with eating your food.

5. Don’t reach out for something that you feel is far and you won’t be able to get it. Ask others to pass it to you. Patience is the key, he shouldn’t be rushing for the food but wait for him to be served. It is a bit by bit approach.

6. Avoid making sounds like burping or slurping.

7. Put your napkin on your lap after unfolding it when you see everyone doing it. It will also avoid your clothes getting dirty if you drop any of your food while eating.

8. Always appreciate others effort and built this habit of saying good about what you ate. Never say anything bad about your food.

9. It’s fine to not talk when there’s food in your mouth but you should also not be silent all the time. Have a conversation and participate with others.

10. One thing that is to be implemented strictly is not having toys, cell phones or I pads at the dining table or the dining area. This should be strictly followed and implemented since a very early age to make it a habit.

11. Always say ‘Excuse me’ or ‘Thankyou’ once you’re done with your food.

You would remember your parents telling you not to put your elbow on the table or sit properly. It’s what every parent struggles with teaching their children. Since, every child is different so there’s a difference in learning pace for each of them.

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4. Pass the Peas and Qs

You like your steak done well and it was served medium rare. Before you cause a commotion about the meat or talk snidely about the chef adding too much salt to the soup, take a deep breath. The fuss will only teach your children that you have a sense of superiority and a quick temper. Model for them how to appropriately express your displeasure as well as how to be courteous to the wait staff. Say “please” and “thank you,” make eye contact and compliment them for a job well done. Eating dinner is a way to share your values with your kids and teach them how to respect others, not just an excuse for ordering extra cheese fries.

5. Keep Them Busy

Sometimes kids just can’t sit still. When they start to wiggle in their seats or migrate away from the table, you need to be prepared to draw them back in. Start a round of I Spy, 20 Questions, round robin storytelling, or play Hangman.

Even the topic of table manners can be a fun game, suggests Elerding. Assign kids to be the Manners Police to make sure adults are following the rules. They can prevent plate crashes by making sure everything is passed to the right and traffic moves smoothly. Need salt? Never pass it without the pepper! These two spices are best buds and etiquette calls for them to stick together, even if a person requested just one.

Other Care.com parents suggest bringing a special “restaurant bag” of toys and games that are only played when you’re out to eat.

6. Teach Proper Etiquette

• Keep mouth closed while eating: “Address the matter with kindness,” says Elerding. “Let them know they have permission to take their time when they are eating and asked to answer a question.”
• Stop burping: Remind them to quietly say, “Excuse me,” and move on. Everyone else at the table should not draw attention to the noise and act as if nothing happened, or you might receive a belch symphony.
• Wait to eat: Talk about this respectful rule before you arrive at the restaurant. If the last person waiting for her dish gives permission for everyone else to start, it’s perfectly fine to pick up your fork and begin. Make it a game and have everyone sit on their hands until all plates are served.

7. Make Eating a Healthy Adventure

Reviewing the menu as a family can start a conversation about healthy eating. Can your son pick out the veggie with the most vitamin B? Which entree does he think would be the most unhealthy? Talk about good eating habits and agree to order an app or side dish for the family to share that’s super good for you or one that has a food no one has tried before.

Dinner etiquette starts at home and should be expected from young children when you do go out for dinner. When you take young children to a family restaurant you need to remember that it is a special time for everyone there and being quiet and polite gives everyone dining a chance to enjoy themselves.

Good Manners Gone Bad

We have all experienced it. You get a chance to take some time and go out for a quiet bite to eat. Everyone is enjoying their meal and then a child begins to act out and the parents do nothing to control them. You want to say something but, instead, you finish your meal quickly and leave.

Teaching Dinner Etiquette At Home

“What your child practices at home is the way they will act out in public.” It is the parent’s responsibility to teach their children dinner etiquette at home so when they go out to a family restaurant the kids know what is expected of them. If the kids run around during your dinner at home that is what they think is okay to do no matter where they eat their dinner.

Family Activities Postponed

If you plan on going out for dinner as a family and your young child has missed their nap, is not feeling well, or is not in a good mood you should not bring them to a public place where others are enjoying some time for themselves. There are options such as wait until the child takes a nap, stay home, or get a babysitter.

Table Manners In Public

There will be times when you go out on a fun family activity and end your day at a restaurant for a bite to eat. As the parent you should pay attention to what your kids are doing, how loud they are, and that they are using good table manners. If your child begins to act out take control of the situation so the other restaurant patrons are not disturbed. If your child will not settle down then it is appropriate to remove them from the restaurant.

Good manners are something that a child is taught. Teaching etiquette starts at home so when you go out to dinner as a family your kids will be a respectful patron and everyone in the restaurant will enjoy their meal

Teaching table manners to kids is an important part of family mealtime that will help them thrive in social situations throughout life! Take a low-pressure approach to teaching and modeling manners with these ten focus points.

Kids learn by watching, mimicking, and practicing. Because they’re so good at learning this way, some aspects of growing up may never have to be taught with words or lectures. Like walking!

Manners can also be taught by watching and mimicking parents and peers. But because manners aren’t instinctual like walking, explaining boundaries, appropriate behavior at the table, and rules becomes an important part of learning this life skill! And once they learn, those habits will benefit them in future social situations.

So, buckle up and let’s talk about the things to teach them for proper table manners, and then scroll to the end to get our Dinner Rules Printable!

Top 10 Table Manners to Teach Kids

1. Wash hands before coming to the table. Clean hands keep kids healthy! Bottom line. Kids can understand that germs on their hands could get into their bodies if they use those dirty hands for eating. Make this easy for your kids by having a small step stool in the bathroom or by the kitchen sink. This CAN become a habit! I’ve seen kids as young as 2 years old washing their hands before a meal without their parents reminding them, because it was a habit!
2. Don’t talk with your mouth full. This must be taught, as I know ADULTS who never learned it! If your bite of food is too big for your mouth to close, the bite was just too big! No one wants to see the food in your mouth while you are eating.
3. Say please and thank you. Being polite is especially appropriate at the dinner table! Saying please shows respect to those you are eating with, and saying thank you shows gratitude. Both of these behaviors are getting lost in society and teaching your kids while they are young will certainly pay off.
4. Wait to be excused until everyone is (at least mostly) finished eating. Dinner doesn’t have to be long! For fidgety kids, practice staying put for at least the first ten minutes of the meal.
5. Put napkin in your lap. I think it’s OK to make a game of this. If you can sit through the meal without your napkin falling off your lap, than you’re a winner! Kids can use the napkin to wipe their hands or their mouths, but while they are young, it can indicate they were able to sit still at the table.
6. Take bites in the appropriate size for your mouth. I wish I could say I had more success with this, but it isn’t for a lack of trying! My teenage boys forget this basic rule!
7. Avoid using devices at the table (watching TV, tablets, phones, video games, etc). This is not only polite, but respectful to the people at your table. Collect devices before the meal starts. This can become a habit to not even check your phone during your meal. Again, a meal doesn’t need to be longer than 15 minutes, so it’s completely appropriate to expect that amount of time to be device free.
8. Express thanks for the meal. This is why I love manners! Kids can be accused of being entitled and spoiled, yet when they simply express thankfulness for a meal, they are humbled and appreciative.
9. Clear your plate, and offer to clear others near you. Kindness can be expressed by helping out, and after dinner, everyone should help out. Clearing your plate, or offering to do it helps kids to be a little less selfish.
10. Avoid in appropriate noises like burping out loud. I just had to throw this one in here because apparently, this rule needs to be said out loud! Haha!

Table Manners for More Advanced Kids

Get kids ready to eat out, in public! Here’s a quick diagram of a fancy table setting. This is fun to explain at home. Have a fancy meal one night, with ALL the dishes to describe a formal dinner setting. We like to do this at holidays like Valentine’s, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Show the kids which forks to use for what food. The more often you do this with your kids, the more likely the lesson will stick.

Family Meal Time Rules- Teaching Family Culture

While teaching table manners for kids to behave appropriately, sometimes they miss the bigger picture. That’s why we also have what we call Family Meal Time Rules! These are simple, everyday things we like our kids to identify with. It’s not bad manners to not talk about your day, but when it becomes a part of your family culture, kids learn respect, kindness, and politeness! So, these are our family meal time rules:

• Taste one bite of everything
• Say Please and Thank You
• Talk about your day
• Eat your fruits and veggies
• Be thankful for your food
• Everyone helps clean up
• Laugh, smile and enjoy being with your family!