I know how you feel I'm exactly the same, lost my husband on 18th May, his YOA had changed suddenly. We found out the week before he had a very aggressive type of prostate cancer, it had spread everywhere, we never saw him open his eyes again and could not understand what he said.
We had been together 47 years all my adult life, married when I was 18 he was 22.
I send you love, and hope memories of good days comfort you somehow x