Directed by frequent Wes Craven collaborator Patrick Lussier, My Bloody Valentine 3D hits all of the classic slasher movie beats. A small town haunted by the memory of gruesome murder, commited by a killer in distinctive clothing? Check. Teenagers partying where they ought not party? Double check. Grizzly slaughter as the promised reward for youthful debauchery? Check with a viscera-coated pickaxe through its torso. It's miners killing minors ... in 3D.
The remake managed to land a decent reception from critics at the time with a 61% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes — not Paddington 2 numbers, but not bad for a movie that's basically all about finding the best way to shoot virtual blood through the screen and into the glasses of viewers. Australia's The Age called it "gore and nudity with a dash of self-awareness," and there's not much else you can ask for.
It's a little surprising that the film never spawned a franchise, given its not unremarkable run at the theater. Box Office Mojo puts My Bloody Valentine's budget at $15 million, with more than $100 million in worldwide returns. Somehow, the story of a guy in a mining helmet slaughtering youthful heathens slipped through the cracks in the studio system, robbing fans of sequels inevitably named things like Our Bloody Valentine or My Bloody St. Patrick's Day. Until Hollywood realizes that they're sitting on a gold mine, viewers will have to find contentment in what's available ... in 3D.
